The Esoteric Mysteries of Family, Parenthood, and Secure Attachment - Jon Eden Khan

With the recent death of my mother, and processing the gifts and the pain of my relationship with her, I have been sensing into the esoteric mysteries around family, raising children, and the core issues of healthy attachment and how that affects our adult relationships.

In the esoteric symbology of the mystery schools, the trinity of our being – spirit, soul, and matter – are represented as father, child, and mother.

The gift of spirit is unconditional freedom as a source of power, will, and purpose.

The gift of matter is unconditional safety, embrace, and creative fertility as the foundation of our embodiment.

The role of the soul is to mature in wisdom and love to integrate these two and awaken to the one ultimate reality that is the ground and essence of them both.

This is an archetypal reality that seeks to express through family dynamics too.

Many of us struggled to establish secure attachment with our parents, and even if this is the case, one of the core fears children face when they learn about death is the inevitable death of their parents and the loss of their attachment figures.

In a world disconnected from soul and still filled with religious notions of heaven and hell, or atheistic perspectives on the inescapable and total loss of our loved ones, this can produce a huge impact on a child's psyche.

Of course to deal with this we have developed a culture of compensation.

Many parents have more children so the children are not alone when the parents die.

And we end up mostly unconsciously transferring our parental attachments onto romantic partners with all the challenges that presents.

I have been coming to sense that ideally, in the fullest expression of human family and parenting,

A father would be able to model an embodied expression of what integrated masculine and feminine, soul and body looks and feels like in a male body.

Then on that foundation he would transmit to the child’s heart, body, and soul the unconditional freedom of the Great Father of pure spirit and the unconditional safety, embrace, and creative fertility of the Great Mother of matter.

Over the course of his fatherhood journey, he would support the child to first establish secure attachment to him, and then through him to the Great Father and Great Mother.

And ideally, a mother would be able to model an embodied expression of what integrated masculine and feminine, soul and body looks and feels like in a female body.

Then on that foundation she would transmit to the child the unconditional safety, embrace, and creative fertility of the Great Mother of matter, and the unconditional freedom of the Great Father of pure spirit too.

Over the course of her motherhood journey, she would support the child to first establish secure attachment to her, and then through her to the Great Mother and Great Father.

When the biological parents die, the child would know themselves as a soul, eternally connected to the soul of their parents, even through death,

And would have already transferred its attachment bond to all our original parents – spirit and matter.

Of course this is far from the reality that almost all of us will have experienced. And yet as the Aquarian Age dawns and more and more initiates come into incarnation, I sense this vision starting to become possible.